A 100 meter solid gold bust of Boris Johnson has been unveiled in the centre of Quito, following news of Britain’s imminent withdrawal from the EU.
The Republic of Ecuador, the world’s largest exporter of bananas, made the unusual move partly in anticipation of Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union, which is likely to result in a liberalisation of Britain’s trading regulations.
Prior to it’s accession to the EU, Britons were notoriously fond of eating and otherwise subsuming into their persons malformed, mis-shapen bananas with an abnormal curvature. Commission Regulation (EC) No. 2257/94 of 16 September 1994 infamously put an end to this favourite national pastime, and is seen by many commentators as the main reason for the UK’s vote to leave the Union. It is therefore safe to assume that one of the first rules to be scrapped by the newly sovereign nation will be that concerning the shape of bananas, and the Ecuadorean economy stands to gain substantially.
Which leads nicely onto the second reason for the Boris bust, as succinctly put by Jose Bananuerez, Ecuadorean Minister for Trade. “The newly independent United Kingdom will be frantically searching for trading partners, and as the world’s leading producer of abnormally curved bananas, Ecuador is keen to send a clear message to future Prime Minister Mr Johnson: ‘You are open for business, and we are more than happy to fill you up with bent fruit until all of your strange desires are sated.’ “