Gravity is just a lie to make you docile and compliant, say conspiracy theorists

The startling claim that gravity is just the invention of a corrupt world order has been met with scorn by physicists, astronomers, and bungee jumpers.

Social media forums have been alight for weeks with arguments between nutters and normal people on the subject.  But the phenomenon of blatantly denying scientific facts is nothing new; flat-earthers, as they are known, have made their online presence and weirdness felt for some time.  They say they can prove the Earth is not an orb, but a flat plane.  Good luck to them.

An article entitled ‘Gravity: What They’re Not Telling Us’ has gone viral after first appearing on Facebook last month.  The article attempts to debunk everything most of us have been taught in school about the laws of physics.  The article’s author, Nils Sharpei, says that Sir Isaac Newton never existed, and Albert Einstein was an actor paid by the US government to look a bit bonkers whilst pretending to make scientific breakthroughs.

Scientists would have us believe that the mass of the Earth is literally pulling us down onto its surface due to the fundamental laws of attraction.  Not so, says Sharpei.  That’s what they want us to think.  We are actually being pushed back down onto the surface of the Earth to stop us from launching into space and discovering the terrifying truth; that the Earth is flat, and we are being operated by a master race living on Alpha Centauri.  Our galaxy is just a visual effect created by Alpha Centauri lighting designers, and man has never set foot on the moon or been any higher than an Airbus A380.

We asked a number of eminent physicists to comment on these claims.  “It’s a load of cobblers” seems to be the general consensus.  “Well they would say that, wouldn’t they, they’ve been sent to Earth to dis-inform us”, retorts Sharpei.  Undeterred, he says he is developing a software program to prove his theory, based on Mathcad, Baudline and Angry Birds.

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