Man who sits in car late at night with engine running for bloody ages unable to explain why

Have you ever wondered who it is that sits in their car at one o’clock in the morning outside your house with the engine running? So have we.

It turns out that the culprit is a man whose hobby it is to burn the unwanted excess petrol in his tank in the dead of night. Despite knowing that most people will be trying to sleep, he sometimes also enjoys having the radio on unnecessarily loudly, and doesn’t give a shit that his noisy, fume-laden presence is keeping you awake. “I have absolutely no idea why I do it”, shrugs John, 48, from Welwyn. “Perhaps it’s because I enjoy wasting money, polluting the air and pissing off the neighbours.”

“Most Friday and Saturday nights he’s out there, the engine idling for no reason whatsoever”, complains John’s wife. “He was out there for fucking ages last night and then he eventually got out he slammed the door so hard the dog woke up and barked for half an hour. Sometimes I fantasise that he’s got a hosepipe leading from the exhaust in through his window.”

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