That domain name you spent ages thinking up is already taken

It seems that no matter how original your idea for a cool new domain name is, some sneaky bastard has already come up with it, according to new research.

A spokeswoman for the International Domain Name Cartel explains. “Don’t think for one minute that you can congratulate yourself on an edgy, unique domain name no one else has thought of. Because there is always somebody who has got there before you. The best you can hope for is a shitty suffix no one else wants, like .lon or .eu.”

It is estimated that for every human being on the planet, there are 10 domain names. That means there is absolutely no way your brilliant idea hasn’t already been done, probably by some no-mark dullard in the middle of nowhere who doesn’t even use it. The advice is to try deliberately mis-spelling parts of it, or even make up new words.  Although a lot of people have already thought of that as well, so you may as well give up now.

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