It’s a scenario most Londoners will be all too familiar with. Evening rush hour at one of the UK’s busiest tube stations, and our reporter Lilian Hepworth is watching as hundreds of exhausted commuters desperate to get home and start drinking are being corralled like cattle up half a staircase, while the other half has been inexplicably cordoned off.
Passenger Raj Patel sums up the situation. “We’re being kettled through a gap the size of a fucking airing cupboard, all because some TFL team leader has decided that a staircase that was built only a few years ago is too spacious for us to use. He’s even stood at the top of the stairs to make sure we don’t make any attempt to ease the chaos he has created. The little prick.”
Our reporter attempted to obtain a comment from team leader Wayne Fiveways, but was told to move on because we were blocking his view of the sea of angry faces. Instead, an anonymous TFL employee, who wished to remain anonymous, explained. “We spend, on average, an hour a day placing barriers across thoroughfares for no reason whatsoever. We are even incentivized for how much square footage we can needlessly remove from use.”