Mystery of the Darke Park lighting saga continues

The council cherry-picker was out again on Monday replacing the street lamp bulbs at Darke Park’s North end for the 3rd time this year, reports Lilian Hepworth.

Local residents are angry.  Graeme Oliphant-Askew, who has lived on Park Rise since the problems began 3 years ago, says that the lamps that criss-cross the park can often be seen dimming inexplicably before flicking out altogether. “I’ve lost count of the number of lights they’ve gone through over the last few years, and they’re still absolutely bloody clueless as to what’s causing it.  Walking my dog at night in near darkness has become like walking through a live minefield.  One never knows whether the next footstep could land you on a turd, broken glass, or a rough sleeper. It’s a disgrace.”

Bluelands Council spokesman Owen Shugborough suspects vandalism. “Although we have no evidence whatsoever that these lamps have been vandalised, we can’t think of anything else, so that’s what we’re going with.  We’re going to start holding night stakeouts to catch the culprits in action.”

However, according to local rumour, paranormal forces may be at work.  The hitherto forgotten -about phenomenon of SLI (Street Lamp Interference) may be responsible, according to the Bluehythe Investigative Paranormal Society.  SLIders are people who inadvertently cause street lamps to turn on and off on their own, and locals in search of a less boring explanation than the one above, are turning to this theory as being the most likely.  BLIPS say they will be investigating once they’ve bought new torch batteries.

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